Relationship Counselling
Relationship counselling is commonly known by several different terms. Marriage guidance, marriage counselling, couple counselling, couple therapy, all refer in essence to the same thing; therapy aimed at helping two people in a relationship.
Relationship counselling is far too often considered as a
last resort. However, therapy is much more effective and helpful if you
both choose it sooner rather than later. Counselling need not be about
simply trying to save a broken relationship - it can be about improving
the relationship that you currently have. Illness,
infidelity, anger, sex, or communication problems can all contribute
to distress in a relationship. Relationship counselling differs from
individual
counselling because
rather than focusing on a specific problem, the focus is on how the
two of you manage problems within your relationship. It is
about understanding yourselves better in relation to each other.
I sometimes hear people say that things were great during the honeymoon period but now all they seem to do is argue. Or perhaps things aren't too bad, but the passion seems to have gone and now they are just good friends. Or maybe one partner did something that hurt the other and now it seems difficult to continue together. Frequently I meet couples who are stuck in a pattern of communicating that leaves them both feeling upset or angry. Despite their best intentions, each time they reach a difference of opinion they find themselves drawn into an unavoidable and far too familiar quarrel. The subject may be different but the pattern is the same. Perhaps one of them criticises or blames, the other walks away; but both ultimately feel alone.
Disagreements
and arguments are a normal part of a close relationship. You are
both individuals so you will both have a different way of seeing the
world. Relationship counselling is about helping you to understand
yourselves and each other so that even when you disagree, you are
able to do it without losing your connection to your partner. It is
about feeling close to each other even amongst your biggest
differences. Relationship counselling aims to help you build a
partnership where you feel supported and safe with each other. It
is about building connection and intimacy.
Relationship counselling requires commitment and effort. Most couples I work with arrive telling me how they want their partner to change. The reality is that usually both partners need to change in some way. If you want your relationship to be better you will both have to face the daring challenge of looking at yourselves to see what you can each do differently. The role of the counsellor is to help you do this together. Please visit the contact page if you would like to speak further with one of our therapists or to make an appointment.
You may find this article entitled 'How to Get the Most from your Couples Therapy' helpful.
